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Saturday, November 29, 2008

A sign of the times

4 years ago if you told Pete, Biggie and I that we would be at the institute we would have laughed. If you told us we would be there together we would have laughed so hard we cried. If you told us that it would be on a Friday night, we would have stopped laughing, looked at you with complete confusion and then probably have you committed. Well, it actually happened! I was bored of watching them play call of duty 4, they were no longer able to see straight from the game and we had nothing to do. Somehow Biggie's car made it up to the institute. I have to admit I would probably not go again, but it was good for 30 minutes of entertainment. Biggie and I raced through the blow up obstacle coarse (I won!), we watched a few minutes of some cartoon that was on and basically just took pictures to document this occurrence since it is kind of like a lunar eclipse. Here is the proof:
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The three culprits

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Pete and I

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Sara called with some disturbing news...this is also the face I would have made at you 4 years ago if you had told me I would be here.

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Biggie and I pre-race

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Even though I whooped him in the race, we remain bosom buddies.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Top 5- Turkey day edition

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I really, really, reeeeeaaaaallllly dislike Thanksgiving. Many of you may be wondering how one could possibly despise a holiday. What has it ever done to me? Well, on this Thanksgiving eve I will tell you why I abhor turkey day. Without further ado, I give you my top 5 reasons for hating Thanksgiving:

5. There is never enough pumpkin pie to go around and I really love pumpkin pie.
4. Too many people in one place. Not enough places to sit.
3. Arguments are inevitable when you get extended family together. Arguments about football. Arguments about stuffing. Just arguments for argument’s sake.
2. You always eat until you get sick which is never enjoyable. Doesn’t matter who you are, you will eat yourself retarded on Thanksgiving.
1. Unnecessary stress brought on by the feeling that this must be the most magnificent meal ever prepared. Too many people in the kitchen, not enough help, something isn’t setting right…so many things to cause stress. I am telling you, it is not ok.

I don’t mean to be a pessimistic downer so having gotten all of this off my chest I hope you all have a very enjoyable Turkey day. I hope that yours is a stress-free, argument-free, pumpkin pie-filled day.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

This doesn't count because I am not talking about football...

But this picture is hilarious and needed to be posted.
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I will likely be struck down by lightening soon after this posts. Thanks for the picture Trent! The comic value was worth the eternally dammed soul.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Come on. You knew it was coming...

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That's right! The Utes sent the kitty cats crying back to happy valley. I really cannot put into words how happy I was and all the emotions that I felt during the game. I really thought BYU was going to try harder and make this a close game, but I guess I gave them too much credit. Boy oh boy did out offense show up! I would really like to thank Max Hall for being one of the MVP's for the Utes. We really appreciated all of those interceptions you threw. I know I said the Shmaustin Shmollie blogs were done, but I have to say that Sean Smith quickly became a favorite of mine as I watched him taunt a certain wide receiver relentlessly. I will just leave it at that and let you all revel in the glory that is the University of Utah.

I promise not to blog about Utah football again until early December when they announce what BSC bowl we will be attending.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Top 5- Austin Collie Edition

The big game is tomorrow so I promise this will be it for the Collie hating. I appreciate your patience with me through this '08 football season. Just to clarify, I feel that my hatred for Austin Collie stems from the fact that he basically embodies all things douchie about BYU. He is cocky, self righteous, ignorant and rude. For all of these reasons, I have decided to post my top 5 favorite Austin Collie quotes. This kid is just ridiculous…

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5. “I just think it's absolutely ridiculous that people take something like that and blow it up. I really think it's because I'm a Mormon white kid from Brigham Young University." (really? You're going to blame it on your religion and race?)

4. "We can't expect everybody to just roll over. We took them for granted. We thought Utah State was going to lay down for us." (You're used to people laying down for you Austin? Does the BYU honor code know this?)

3. "I think every team in our conference - now that we are getting into conference - is out to beat us. And we are the king, and they want to take us off our throne." (Thank you TCU!)

2. "I think I'm a lot faster than the clock showed that one day," (Because clocks are well known liars.)

And finally, as you all expected, the mother of all quotes...

1. "I wouldn't say it was lucky. We executed the play well. We should have had another one (TD). Obviously, if you do what's right on and off the field, I think the Lord steps in and plays a part in it. Magic happens."

Hope you all wear your crimson tomorrow!! GO UTES!!!!!!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

I'm sorry, but I had to.

I know, I know. You are all really sick and tired of hearing about how much I hate Austin Collie but this one is too good to pass up!

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A fellow Ute fan at work sent this picture to me. That cut-off-clad fellow is none other than Austin Collie who I am told is accompanied by his lovely bride (what was she thinking?). The Ute fan wannabe next to them is Dennis Pita and his ho. I am willing to recognize that these were Halloween costumes and heaven knows I have had my moments of less than modest Halloween costumes (Ho White as Uncle Rhemus calls it), but I was left to wonder…is this BYU honor code appropriate? With the exception of Mr. Pita, everyone else in this picture would be in direct violation of that code the last time I checked. I don’t know if it was wise for them to run about not living right so close to the big game. Also, I love that the best representation Pita could come up with for a U fan was a wig and a fanny pack. I can honestly say that I have never seen someone dressed like that at a University of Utah event. And the pregnant woman? Well at least our co-eds are attractive enough that someone would actually want to get them pregnant.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

What makes you happy?

First of all, happy rivalry week!! The big day is near, but I have decided to take a break from my anti-collie blogging to talk about something unrelated to football. Last night a good friend of mine came to visit me in all my pj’d and Chinese takeout glory and he asked me what makes me happy. I gave him a single answer at the moment, but it got me thinking of all the little things in life that make me happy. I started a list and now I shall share will all of you…

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* Football (I know I said unrelated to football, but it does make me happy) specifically the Utes and the Sunday afternoon sort
* Ben and Jerry’s Ice cream of the Dave Matthews Magic Brownie persuasion
* Music
* Thoughtful or sweet text messages
* Cuddling up on a couch under a blanket
* Tea
* Penny tapping, Doorbell ditching, and all around tormenting a particular family. They know who they are, and most of you do as well
* Chinese takeout
* Hoodies
* Fresh snow
* Getting my hair did
* Shopping
* Boating
* Attending sporting events
* Camping with friends
* Bear Lake
* The movie “Say Anything”
* The song “I’m gonna be” by the Proclaimers
* Bridges
* Swings
* Movie nights
* Slumber parties
* Road trips
* Napping

Well, those are just a few that I could think of. So if anyone wants to send me a sweet text message, brings me some magic brownie ice cream, and cuddle on the couch in hoodies while having a movie night and sipping on tea, that would make me pretty happy.

Friday, November 7, 2008

A little black magic.

Holy crap people...HO.LEE.CRAP!!!!! The Utes pulled out another win in the last 2 minutes of the game! I kind of feel like B.J. doesn't like to play unless he feels as though he has given at least half the stadium aneurysms. Why everyone sings his praises is completely beyond me. My feelings towards him are not those of love, but I will hold my tongue since he did pull it out again last night. I just wish he would play well for one whole game. Then I would be happy.

This game was not quite as epic as the Oregon state game; there was no running the clock down to the final second, but there was plenty of fear and doubt right up until the last 2 minutes of the game. Our defense played a well and did all they could to prevent TCU from scoring again but the offense was just struggling to do much of anything for a majority of the game. It was another time when most fans had given up. In the back of my mind I held out hope that we could pull another Oregon state game out, but we just hadn’t been doing so hot this game so I pushed the thought away. Then, in the final 5 minutes of the game TCU missed a field goal and we were given another chance, which we blew. Then it happened again!! TCU missed ANOTHER field goal. 2 missed field goals in a row! Do you know what that was? It was God’s hand coming into the game for a little assistance (right Austin Collie?). We somehow managed to not screw up on our second blessing from above and scored a touchdown. The game ended with a score of 13-10 in our favor and the horned frogs went home to Texas.

Now, and open letter to my most hated one:

Dear Austin Collie,
I hate you. I hope that as you witnessed the Utes emerge the victor in last night’s game that you cried and felt sorrow knowing that we did what you couldn’t. I don’t care if it was only a single solitary tear trickling down your cheek. I just hope that you cried. To be totally honest I would not have such a hatred for you if you were not such a giant D-bag. I mean you can’t go around saying stuff like, “Obviously, if you do what's right on and off the field, I think the Lord steps in and plays a part in it. Magic happens”. Really Austin Collie? Really? Well I hope you bring that “magic” with you when you venture up North because you will need it to wipe away your tears when we beat you. See you in 2 weeks!

Love,
Kirsten Dorius
Devoted University of Utah fan since 1985

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Happy Blackout Day!!!

GO UTES!!!!

We are mere hours away from the monumental Utah vs. TCU game. This game will be a defining moment in University of Utah football history and I want Austin Collie to cry when he sees that we beat the team they could not!

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Monday, November 3, 2008

More Plyg Pictures

I know you all wanted to see more pictures of Warren Jeffs and his wives...
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Warren seems pretty ok with his living situation.

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Trying to convert the sinner.

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The sister wives hard at work doing what women should.

So far those who have seen these pictures have told me I look the most polygamist. I guess that is a compliment? Opinions??

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Big weekend filled with costumes.

It was quite the eventful weekend! First off, here are the pictures of my Hanna Montana get up, as promised:
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I know...I look hot.

Friday night was filled with Halloween party hopping. Kristjan added to our FLDS costume by dressing as Warren Jeffs. Needless to say, we were the best costume at pretty much every event we attended:
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Saturday was equally exciting, just minus costumes. Tay-tay and I had a girl's day. I took her to lunch and to see "Beverly Hills Chihuahua". I know what you are thinking- "Really Kirsten? You went to a movie with talking animals? Specifically talking chihuahuas? What were you thinking?". Well, the answer is that I was thinking about the best interest of a little girl named Taylor. I do have to admit, the movie was not the worst thing I have seen (that award still goes to "I know who killed me"). Here is a picture of the fabulous Taylor and myself out for girl's day:
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Saturday evening Uncle Rhemus and I watched the U game. That game was waaaaaaaaay too close for my comfort! Post game I made a trip to Keys on Main with Beau where I ran into these crazy camera stealing hooligans:
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Today has basically involved worshiping the Lord, watching some Sunday afternoon football and napping on my couch. Oh, and blogging. Just for the record, do you know what happens when you are on time to church? You get asked to give the opening prayer in relief society. Lesson learned.

Peace out homies.