Well, I am throwing out some feelings now and y'all can just deal with it. I am going to feel vulnerable for a sec and hopefully not throw up three times a day, every day. Without going into detail, the last 3 weeks have been what we in the biz like to call, a real bitch. I can honestly say that I haven’t had a more trying, miserable, difficult time in probably 10 years. I have cried every day, sometimes the entire day and had at least 3 moments where I have had to sit down, cover my face and just cry because I was completely overwhelmed. There was just an unreal amount of bad news, some directing relating to me, others related to people I love. It has felt like everyone and everything was falling apart and I have just been brought down to my knees. I don’t know what I did to piss the universe off, but I felt completely hopeless about a week into this string of terrible weeks. Lucky for me, I have some pretty fantastic lady friends who have rallied me and helped me get my act together when I really didn't care to. I wanted to take a brief moment to express my feelings for them and post some pretty terrible old photos.These are the ladies who have done something in the last two weeks to pull me back from the hypothetical ledge that I am standing on...
(Please note the many hair colors of Kirsten. This is why I can't actually remember what my natural hair color looks like)
This is Maggie
Maggie and I worked at Spag (The Spaghetti Factory) in our College years. Our friendship blossomed over mizithra and mushroom sauce and extended into the gay club, slumber parties and Welcome to the Dollhouse. We became quick friends and I have had the pleasure of keeping her in my life throughout the past 7 years. After a particularly bad Saturday night, I reached out to Maggie in the middle of the night. She and her husband, Colt welcomed me into their home on Sunday night and made me feel better about everything and helped me realize what I needed to do to keep on keepin' on. After Colt went to bed, Maggie stayed up until the wee hours of the morning reassuring me and making me feel like it was all going to be okay. It was the first time in a few weeks where I felt any semblance of peace. It sure was nice of them to do that.
This is Brooke
Brooke and I met in a singles ward and pretty much started dating each other. It was totally normal and didn’t involve singing songs from the Swan Princess while eating in the parking lot of Del Taco, or me hiding under her bed to scare every member of her family, or eating copious amounts of café rio or anything weird like that. Brooke not only became my significant other, but her incredible family has welcomed me into their homes these past 3 years. I have spent holidays with them and I think every member of the family has seen me cry at least one time. Brooke successfully graduated from the singles ward last year and left me behind to rot in dating hell. I still love her though. Last Tuesday was another pretty bad day for me. Because Brooke knows me too well, she knew just what I needed and forced my hand, something she has done many times. She and Doug, the man she left me for, also opened up their home to me and Brooke’s dad even joined the festivities and gave me a long hug and let me just cry in his arms because sometimes you just need someone to hug you and let you cry. I love the Duffy family as if they are my own and I am lucky to have them all, even when they leave me to be alone in the dating world.
This is Bergendi
Bergendi and I have been playing together all Summer and I have been ever so glad to have her since all my other ladies have gone off and found soul mates. We have had some pretty cool times, and these last few weeks she has really been my cheerleader. She has received so many depressing texts from me in these last two weeks. I started to feel like a pretty draining friend and wouldn't have blamed her if she stopped responding to my texts, but instead she has checked on me to make sure I haven’t slit my wrists while eating Wendy’s in the tub. Yeah, I did that the other night. The Wendy's in the bathtub thing, not the wrist slitting. Then I fell asleep crying in the tub with a face mask on. Get over it. We have done lots and lots of shopping together these last few weeks because my ability to cope is heavily reliant upon buying pretty things. I don’t care that its unhealthy, it makes me feel better so I’m going to do it! She has been trying her damndest to pull me out of my funk even when I didn't feel like pulling myself out. She's tried it all! Shopping, shit talking, almond butter -- the works. What a cool, gal. Hopefully I can stop being such a negative Nelly soon so that she doesn't get sick of me soon.
This is Sara
Sara and I were heterosexual life partners for most of our youth. We have been friends since elementary school and as you can see above, we were far from normal. We dressed up and accused bushes of rape, penny tapped the same house every Friday for probably 5 years (of adulthood), cut barbie hair off and taped it to ourselves for reason I cannot remember. Those stories are only skimming the surface of the weirdness we endured together, but I love her ever so much. She sends me funny texts almost daily, usually something at the expense of others because we are pretty nice gals like that. She had no idea that I was having such a terrible week because I didn't say anything, but those texts really cheered me up, whether she knew it or not. She has seen me in the worst and most awkward, scrub-wearing years of my life and still loves me. That is saying a lot.
This is Lacee
Lacee is my wife. There is a third member of our marriage, but she is far away in the land of San Francisco. The three of us are sister wives, minus the man being involved. We all hate men something fierce sometimes, hence our commitment to each other. The irony of out bitter union is that some time in college, in the midst of our dating woes, we discovered that buying bridal magazines and reading them while eating ice cream was oddly cathartic. I don't even remember how it happened but it was a fairly regular activity. One of us would have a bad night so we would buy bridal magazines because I am sorry, but you can’t feel sad while looking at all those pretty dresses and rings and flowers. It’s a scientific fact. Last Friday night Lacee and I got together and laid in her bed with magainzes for hours while her boyfriend watched her babies. I make no apologies to the fact that we bought bridal magazines or that I ate carbs and dairy that night. Judge all you want, but I left her house Friday night feeling pretty good and I didn't even have to put makeup on. The only thing that could have made it better was if our other wife had been there.
Big thanks to all of the peeps who stopped me from spending every night crying in my room alone these past two weeks! I don't want to exclude anyone because I have a lot of love in my life, these lucky ladies just happened to make the cut this week. I am particularly fond of all of you and I am lucky to have such cool gals in my life.
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