Thursday Things

This Video

It is an old one, but I love it so much and was just thinking about how wonderful it is. Fun fact: I have a true, deep, sincere love for Ashlee Simpson. I watched every episode of her show and bought her first two albums. I’m not saying she’s the most talented person alive, but I do love her so. I want her to be my best friend. I think we could get along famously and she would talk me into buying the coolest clothes and doing the strangest things to my hair. Speaking of hair, there was a period of about 3 years where every time I got my hair cut I used photos of her hair. Girlfriend’s just got it going on. This video is my favorite because my girl is belligerent in a McDo’s and says, “Bitch, stop talking to me I’m nice!”. I am telling you, she’s my soul mate.

This Tea

Tea is sort of my jam when it starts to get nippy outside. Although I am still anxiously awaiting another great snowstorm like we had in early November, I am willing the winter in with my tea consumption. This brand and flavor is my personal favorite. It is weird and flowery, but I am into it. Plus, during the summer months Starbucks makes a passion tea lemonade that is TO DIE FOR. Come on, Jack Frost! Bring me the snow!

This Purse 

It is coming my way any day, thanks to Black Friday. Cobalt Blue! Cute! Will fit all my toiletries and my iPad! What more could I ask for?? Unfortunately for all of you, the purse is no longer available. Thanks, Black Friday! 


This Shipper

Why FedEx? One simple answer: they aren’t UPS. This week I have experiences the worst customer service of my life from UPS. You see I have a package of Christmas Gifts that was being sent to my old address because I didn’t notice that was still the shipping address on the account. I caught this on Monday when the package shipped and immediately contacted JCrew where I was told that it had already left and I would need to contact UPS. Cool except UPS told me the type of shipping they do is turned over to the Postal Service for delivery, so I would have to contact them to get the package held. Called the USPS and they were nice and told it was no problem and the package would be forwarded. Sigh of relief…until UPS changed their minds and decided to not turn the package over to USPS like they are supposed to. UPS now says they can’t help me because they can’t change the delivery method on this type of shipment, except that they can since they already have by not turning over to the post office LIKE THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO!! So multiple calls/fights with customer service agents who told me there was nothing they could do, my final call (which had me on hold for 45 minutes) resulted in a girl who understood that they are the ones who changed the delivery by keeping it, so I could be the exception to their rule since had they done what they were supposed to, I wouldn’t be in this mess. She sent a message to the UPS center holding the package asking them to hold it. FINALLY! Oh wait! Not! They called me back this morning and left me a message saying they can’t help me because it’s Post Office delivery and they can’t change the delivery method…EVEN THOUGH THEY ALREADY HAVE AND THE POST OFFICE WON’T EVEN TOUCH THE DAMN PACKAGE!!!! Oh, and surprise! The phone number they called from doesn’t accept calls back. It has been a joke and I am appalled that a company of that size can have such terrible customer service! I just don’t understand why no one can help me! I am saving them time and money by wanting to pick it up, so why would they not want to help me?! There is something in this for them as well! All they have to do is pull my effing package from the truck and put it on a shelf! No driver to go out of his way to my old place. No time waiting on the door to see if someone is home. TIME AND MONEY SAVED IF YOU AREN’T BEING DICKS!! Oh, and if you want to write an email complaint, it has to be less than 500 characters. Good luck getting any point across in less than 500 characters. I also believe I am now blacklisted by UPS because their chat support is magically unable to connect me to an agent today. Coincidence? I don’t think so. 

The good news is that I stalked the website and the moment it was delivered, I left work and ran to get it. There it was, safe and sound, no thanks to UPS!


And what's this? The delivery address to the post office? Huh! Weird that they didn't deliver it there and were still so incredibly difficult to deal with.


UPS IS OWNED AND OPERATED BY SATAN AND I WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday Things

Today is Thanksgiving, or as I like to call it: the day that tension rises in family settings until someone (me) ends up crying in a bathroom at their (my) Grandma's house. The good new is that nothing made me cry today, and that is great news because it means I am not too emotionally scarred to type up a Thursday things!

This Video

Because I was running out of reasons to hide in my Grandma’s bathroom to cry on Thanksgiving. So many things upset me about this video, like why is there an adult male at their pre-pubescent Thanksgiving and why does he pop up like a pedophile when they sing about the other holidays? I feel like Chris Hanson needs to intervene here. Also, why couldn’t they get a 2012 calendar for that shot where she’s counting down the days? Because Thanksgiving is not on the 28^th this year and the historical inaccuracy is unacceptable. And Where are this girl’s parents? That question is in reference to both during the video and in real life because no parent should allow their little girl to do what that little girl did here, especially when she sings into the drum stick. My parents would have been SO pissed if I did that at the Thanksgiving dinner table. But in the spirit of gratitude on this Thanksgiving day, I am truly grateful that this nice young lady explained to me the appropriate months in which to celebrate Christmas, New Years, Easter and the trickiest of all to remember: The 4^th of July.

This DVD Set

One time in 2006 I went to buy the laptop that I am currently typing on. It is a first generation MacBook which was very exciting for all of us Mac users, so when I got to the Apple store there were none in stock. Because I was ready to make a large purchase and was unable to get this little guy, I ended up buying the complete Sex and the City DVD set. Makes sense to spend $300 on DVD's because you couldn't buy a computer, right? Well it all worked out in the end because I still have the ol' first generation MacBook and I have also watched Sex and the City about 6 times from beginning to end. I just finished re-watching the series again last night and I am always reminded of how great the show is. If you would like to borrow them, TOO BAD! I only loan them out to very, very close friends, and only if they promise to give me their first born if the set is lost or damaged. 

My MacBook 

As I mentioned above, I bought the MacBook right when they came out in 2006. This baby has been with me for over 6 years. We have been together through college classes, coffee shop writing sessions, 5 different houses/bedrooms, and so much music downloading. I love this computer and will forever hold a place in my heart for it. It made the list today because I am on the verge of getting a new MacBook pro, and I am starting to feel all sentimental about this one. I feel like I am breaking up with a boyfriend; a boyfriend I have taped University of Utah stickers and fortunes to. Thanks for the good times, MacBook. I hope my brother loves you as much as I did when he takes you up to Utah State. Just don't let him put an Aggies sticker over your Utah one. 

Thats all I can think of right now. I am in a weird turkey cloud. Tryptophan and stuff or whatever. 

VL

Have you guys ever heard of repressed memories? Repressed memories are memories that were so traumatic that a person subconsciously forces them to the back of their mind and often forgets they even exist. Well, I happened to uncover a repressed memory this week and I feel the need to share it since my instagram followers seemed to get a kick out of it...

I was not what you would call, “popular” or “cool” in high school. To be totally honest, I wasn’t even what you would call, “normal”. My best friends in High School had been my best friends in Junior High and Elementary. In fact, they were all girls I had met between the ages of 2 and 7 so we all grew up with a mutual weirdness. Fast forward to our senior year of High School when 4 of the 6 of us had still never even kissed a boy (shocking when you spend Friday nights creating and rehearsing dance routines to Jessica Simpson songs in your friend’s basement). I don’t remember how  or why the idea came to us, but at some point we thought it wise to start Skyline High School’s inaugural V.L. Club (Virgin Lips, for those who aren’t so sad and pathetic as I was). To be considered a club, you paid a fee and had to obtain a faculty advisor. We took our idea and with the support of Amanda’s mom, the career counselor at Skyline, we paid the fee and just like that, Skyline had a V.L. Club. Just in case you aren’t already cringing with embarrassment for 17 year old Kirsten, you should know that the club took on a life of its own. Each fall Skyline held an event called Eagle Fest where clubs could set up booths in the gym to recruit members.  We proudly manned our booth at Eagle Fest and got others in the school to sign up as either members or supporters. We held a club meeting on the track during lunch. We had a photo in the yearbook. We were a featured article in the school newspaper and we even had an interview on the school news channel. 

As I uncovered this repressed memory and took the photos of the yearbook page, I noticed my name was spelled wrong. Kirsten is my name, not Kristen. It took me nearly a decade to notice that. The kicker is that I was on the layout staff for the yearbook. I probably sat next to whoever created this page. So just to be clear: I was on the yearbook staff, I was the secretary of the VL club, and no one knew how to spell my name. It is really just a mystery how I made it to 18 without anyone kissing me. 

The saddest part of all of this is that I think we thought we were cool for doing this. Like we were being so funny and proud of the fact that no one wanted to tap this. Poor, naive Kirsten. They weren’t laughing with you, they were laughing at you!

In case you wondered, Skyline’s V.L. Club was a one year thing. For some unknown reason, the club died with our class. Weird.

Thursday Things

I haven't spontaneously puked in 2 weeks, you guys! And we had the most glorious snow storm in the SL,UT last weekend. All in all, it was an excellent week...

This Poster

This poster announcing the release date of season 3 of “Game of Thrones” is kind of lame, right? WRONG! I got pretty into this show over the summer partly because nerdy TV shows were the jam of the Dorius household, but mostly because I really like dinosaurs and wolves and dragons are basically just mythical dinosaurs and the Stark’s wolves are pretty neat. I really want Khalisi and Rob Stark to hook up and become the most powerful people in the universe with their animals. Anywho, this poster is not lame even though it has nothing of note, not even an image of a dragon. It is awesome for one reason and one reason only: March 31^st is my birthday!! I feel a dragon and wolf themed party coming on…

This Lip Plumper

I fake a lot of things you guys; my hair color, my skin tone, my nails, my purses, my jewelry…so why not just add lips to that mix? I am not going to let anyone shoot poison into my lips (yet) but I bought this stuff and it does a pretty good job. Also, I love the tingling sensation of limp plumpers so even if they don’t work I would probably continue to use them for that. You just use this crap every morning and night and I feel like it works. Maybe 12 years of hair dye has gone to my brain and it’s in my head. Probably.

This Ring

I bought this ring many years ago with a friend because we liked it and wanted friendship rings. Okay, kidding. Sort of. We found it in a magazine while laying by the pool on a vacation and both wanted it, so we found a coupon and ordered them together to save on shipping…and we did end up calling them our friendship rings…but it was more coincidence than intention so it wasn’t weird for two adult women to get friendship rings. As a side note, I rarely talk to that friend anymore so if the rings were intended to forge our friendship for eternity, they failed miserably.  

This Picture

This photo is from ESPN last Saturday during the Utah Football game. No this isn’t on here because of Coach Kyle Whittingham; it made my list because of the kid photo bombing. That, boys and girls, is my brother Geoff and he did not intend to photo bomb anyone. He is currently enrolled at the U and following my dream of becoming an Athletic Trainer. He was invited to fly with the team up to Seattle for last week’s game, which is kind of a big deal for him. I was really happy to hear my dream is panning out so well for him, and even happier to see that he got to photo bomb on ESPN. But in all seriousness, he is a really motivated, good kid and I am proud of him for working so hard in school and following my dream. Also, he has never once complained when I’ve called him Mooseknuckle for years or when I’ve made fun of his jewfro. Okay, he complained about the jewfro comments when he was in High School, but that was his own fault for not realizing his hair is too thick and curly to be a shag. He was asking for it!!

Think of the Children!

Once upon a time my mom had brain cancer and I had to drive her to her daily treatments at the U of U hospital. Each day at the same time, I watched a little boy, no more than 8 years old, get wheeled out of the radiation lab in his wheel chair before heading back to his room at Primary Children’s. It was apparent that whatever cancer he had ravaged his little body and the chemotherapy had robbed him of his hair. His wheelchair was red and had a tray where he could color or play, although he rarely looked up for those things when leaving the treatment center. He had a crown that would sometimes be on his head, and sometimes be hanging on the handle of the wheelchair. I will never forget that boy, even though I never knew his name or anything about him. I spent every day for months watching him get wheeled out of treatment and thinking about how much courage that little guy had to be dealing with such an adult thing.

I bring up the little boy with the crown because I heard something on the radio yesterday that made me so angry and I wanted to paint a picture that would tug at your heartstrings. Some terrible person stole over 100 Xbox games and DVD’s from Primary Children’s Medical Center last month. Those movies and games are used for kids during their chemotherapy treatments, so they have something to keep their mind occupied while they have to sit and have chemicals pumped into their little bodies. As if what those kids are going through isn’t terrible enough, now their games and movies are taken away too? Not cool, whoever stole them. I was shocked to find no news stories about this, other than the radio talk which only happened because a listener wrote in asking for help spreading the word. So here I am, my little attempt to spread the word to anyone who reads my random rambles. Primary Children’s is accepting child-friendly Xbox games and movies to help build the collection back up. As a frequent patron to Target, I know you can find kid’s movies there for as cheap as $5, and Christmas sales have begun so I’m sure we can all find good deals on a Hannah Montana game. Once you have purchased said DVD’s or games, you can take them to the front desk at Primary Children’s and they will graciously accept the donations.

Think of the children! Think of the little boy and his crown. Think of the kids who don’t get to play soccer or go to recess because they are stuck in a hospital bed fighting a terrible illness. I would go out on a limb to say that the movies and the Xbox might be the best part of their days at Primary Children’s. So let’s all brave the snow storms to take our selfish selves to Target this weekend, buy a DVD or game and help build that collection back up! Think of the children!

Pie #1: Marshmallow Mermaid Pie

Have you seen this movie?

Probably not. It has been my experience that most people have not, but you are all really missing out. It is such a great film! It is whitty, cute and very different from anything else out there. It tells the story of Jenna, a waitress at a little diner in a small town who is trapped in a terrible marriage and is a pie genius.  The DVD comes with a recipe book and one that has always caught my eye is the Marshmallow Mermaid pie, the first pie that Jenna makes with her mom when she is a little girl. I decided this past weekend to watch the movie while I made said pie. It was a lovely afternoon and the product was delicious! Very, very rich and not to be consumed in large quantities, but delicious!

Pies are quite possibly my favorite thing to bake, purely on the aesthetic appeal. I actually hate traditional pie crust with all of my heart, but I like the idea of it and I can usually just eat around that part. So upon completing my Marshmallow Mermaid pie, I decided to make a month of it. What better month to dedicate to making pie than November? So as I bake, I will share. My goal is one pie per week. Maybe the recipes will be other recipes from "Waitress". Maybe it won't be. Maybe I will make more than one pie in a week. Maybe I wont. The possibilities are endless!

Marshmallow Mermaid Pie


9 graham crackers
1/2 C. sweetened, flaked coconut, toasted (I omited this since my family doesn't like cocconut)
5 Tbs. butter or margarine, melted
34 lg. marshmallows (8 oz.)
1/2 C. whole milk
1 1/2 C. heavy or whipping cream
1 oz. unsweetened chocolate, grated

Directions
1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Combine coconut and graham crackers in food processor until coarse crumbs form.
2. Combine crumbs and butter with fork. Press to bottom and side of 9-inch pie plate. Bake 10 minutes and cool on wire rack.
3. Heat marshmallows and milk in 3-qt. saucepan over low heat until smooth, stirring constantly. Remove saucepan from heat. Cool completely (15-30 minutes.)
4. In large bowl with mixer at medium speed, beat cream until stiff peaks form. Fold marshmallow mixture into whipped cream with grated chocolate. Spoon filling into cooled crust. Refrigerate pie at least 3 hours or overnight.
5. Top with mini marshmallows, maraschino cherries and rainbow sprinkles

Return of the Thursday Things

Terrible things that happened last week that prevented me from posting my Thursday Things:

1.       I stabbed myself in the finger pretty good while cutting sweet potatoes. Not sliced, stabbed. Just the tip. I am not the best with knives that that is why I have a scar and no feeling in my left pointer finger from an avocado incident 8 years back. Just know that avocados are the most common fruit for people to injure themselves on. The ER Doctor who stitched me up told me so.

2.       I ran into my home teacher at the grocery store after a 2 hour workout and he asked if I was headed to the gym after I got some groceries. Not a proud moment considering I looked like a sweaty rat that had swam its way out of the swamps of New Orleans, post-Katrina…and he still thought that might have been my pre-gym look. Super rude from such a nice guy.

3.       I puked on Wednesday night, and not even at my own crapartment. At a dude’s house. I got spontaneously nauseous as I was leaving his house, no stomach pain, no warning, just nausea. I realized what was happening right about the time I bent over to get my purse. I tried to leave quickly to get outside and puke on the sidewalk and pretend it was someone who drank too much at a Halloween party,  but it was too late and I had to throw my things across the room and run to his bathroom. It was gross and terrible and I thought that kind of humiliation ended when I stopped going to frat parties in College.

4.       Whatever infection caused the above mentioned spontaneous puking, was in my kidneys. Cool, right? Wrong! Probably the worst pain I’ve felt in my life. Terrible constant pain in the lower back/kidney areas that worsened and eventually reached a point where it was shooting pains into my hip area and down my legs. It also prevented me from consuming Diet Coke for a few days as I had to drink loads of water to stay hydrated while I prayed that the pain would leave me. Feeling terrible, puking in front of someone AND no Diet Coke? Could it have been worse?!

The good news is I got some antibiotics in my system along with a ton of ibuprofen and I survived, scarred only by the embarrassment of knowing I threw my coat at a dude and then puked in his bathroom. Were the first two terrible things relevant to why I missed my post Thursday? Not at all. But they accentuate the portrait of the graceful, elegant, lady-like pearl that I am.

Terrible things aside, the last few weeks have still better than the funky ones before them. I will take puking and kidney infections and stabbing and appearance insults over the other stuff. You may now carry on with reading about my favorite things.

These Salt & Pepper Shakers

 

I have a lot of brothers. 4 of them, all younger than me. Baby bear is 16 years younger than me so I was pretty upset when he came along and ruined my life by being born 3 days before my sweet 16^th birthday party, which was Hawaiian themed and awesome by the way (thanks to my aunts for putting that on since my mom was sooooo busy birthing that little jerk).  Well, turns out that little jerk is sort of awesome and hilarious and occasionally thoughtful. I collect Salt & Pepper shakers because I am 85, and he remembered this when he was visiting Lego Land over the Summer. I was honestly surprised he thought about it, but it sure was nice of him, even if it took him 3 months to remember to give them to me. It almost makes up for ruining my 16^th birthday. Almost.

This Sleep Aid

It is no Ambien, but I am a little bit in love with it. I don't really sleep on my own. I have night time anxiety, which is sort of the worst. It means I wake up in the middle of the night and freak out about things that don't really matter, but because I am half asleep they stress me out and my mind gets away from me and I can't get back to sleep, and then I am tired and get day time anxiety too. Its a vicious cycle. This stuff is all natural and doesn't sedate you, it just relaxes you so that you sleep better. I was gifted a few pills this weekend and had to rush out to get a whole pack. It is now my favorite, non-ambien sleep aid. 

This Nog

I don’t drink animal milk for many reasons which I will not bore you with, but that also means I don’t get Eggnog during the holidays. I love Eggnog ever so much, so imagine my joy when I learned of a dairy-free alternative. I scoured my local Whole Foods to find this and have been just tickled to let the sweet taste grace my lips and dance across my taste buds for the first time in 3 years. This weekend I intend to listen to my Christmas Playlist while wrapping gifts and sipping my coconut Eggnog. Yes, I know it is only November 8^th , but I do what I want.

These Leggings

You all know I have a J Crew problem, but these leggings are not on here for that reason. They are on here because they are the perfect legging! Thick enough to cover the knee length underwear some of us have, while still maintaining the thinness of leggings. I admit that $25 is steep for a pair of leggings, but they are worth it. I purchased my first pair last winter after tearing a hole in the butt seam of my slacks while at work in Park City. I bought these leggings because they were the cheapest pant option I could find in Park City on short notice….then I fell in love and bought 4 more. I was delighted to see that they have returned for another great season at the Crew, partly because everyone needs them, but mostly because I wore my 4 pair out. I must share a small caveat though: make sure you continue to mix jeans and other pants into your wardrobe this winter season so that you are aware of the fact that you might be gaining some weight from the holidays. Leggings don’t get tight and you may have a cruel awakening when you try to put on jeans in the spring. Not that this happened to me last winter or anything…

This Salon

Specifically Chris who works at that Salon. Chris has been cutting my hairs for almost 3 years now, a record for a hairstylist relationship in my life. I am very particular about my hair, so it is really a one strike you’re out sort of situation. Chris has done everything to my hair from cutting 6 inches off to dying it as light as a brunette can go, and I have loved every single thing he has done. The salon is great and everyone there is fun and does a great job. If you are in need of a new stylist, these peeps are the ones to call!

Bing, Bang, Bong.

Soooooooooooo I have bangs now and I am pretty excited about them, as you can see:

Maybe you can be a grownup for 5 minutes and not make this post  weird with your pervy mind, but I am pretty into bangs. This is certainly not my first bang rodeo, but it has been a few years. I got a lot of compliments the last time I did bangs (ranging from nice to borderline creepy but still nice), so I decided to get bangs again. I do not regret that decision, and here are some reasons why…

Bangs make you look more put together, even on the days you throw your [2 days] unwashed hair into a bun:

 

Bangs make you look fun and sporty while you sweat your diet coke out at the gym for 2 hours:  

 

Bangs make you look sort of tough when paired with the right sunglasses, like maybe you’re on your way to shoot someone in the knee cap for screwing up a drug deal that your Bang Gang** was facilitating. Of course, the J Crew gingham/cardigan combo might indicate otherwise:

 

Finally, Bangs just work for me and this face of mine. I think that is why I got the borderline creepy comments 2 years ago, and why I got as many borderline creepy comments when I cut them this time:

 

**Yes, I proposed the idea of the Bang Gang to Bergendi after she also cut bangs, and no a Bang Gang is NOT the same as that other thing. Not even close. Our gang does things like trim our bangs every 2 weeks and get brunch at Ruth’s and make trips to Ikea for closet organizers. I think she was initially a little hesitant to join because I am so intimidating in my J Crew, but she eventually agreed. Stay tuned for the initiation brunch details!