Summer Girls

I would like to start off by saying that I have a serious soft spot for Abercrombie & Fitch. The first time I heard Rich Cronin of LFO (may he rest in peace) sing that he liked girls that wore Abercrombie & Fitch, I knew I had to have it; I had to be that girl! Shortly after that song became my fave, a store opened in Provo and I took all my hard earned babysitting money and bought 2 shirts. I could not have been more proud of those two clearance rack shirts! My love affair with Abercrombie & Fitch continued well into college when my bestie was a manager for one of their stores. I took advantage of that discount and surrounded myself with the best friends/staff members that Abercrombie had to offer. Basically, Abercrombie & Fitch played a very important, superficial role in my life, but then I grew up. When I was 7 I realized my imaginary friend was ridiculous and when I was 21 I realized that Abercrombie & Fitch was even more ridiculous.   
 
Why the history on my relationship with Abercrombie & Fitch? Well, they have recently made the news with something more ridiculous then what they charge for the ½ yard of fabric that they call a skirt…they have actually offered to pay Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino to stop wearing their clothes because they are concerned that he might tarnish their brand. For those of you who have been living in a remote village in the Andes for the past 2 years (or under a stupid rock), The Situation is a gentleman of Italian decent that has become popular as a result of a television show that airs on Music Television, “The Jersey Shore”. This show follows 7 individuals, or guidos and guidettes as they prefer to be called, as they live their slutty, alcohol infused lives. It is absolute gold (if gold is trash) and you should definitely watch it (if you love trash like I do).
 
 So Abercrombie & Fitch, You are concerned about The Situation tarnishing your brand? That is the thing that crosses the line for you? Interesting. Where was that concern when you started making lacy thongs and padded bikinis for 6 year old girls? Or when you started creating your own moose-shaped hole in the ozone layer by spraying “Fierce” in your stores every 30 minutes (that is a fact)? And let’s not forget about all of those pesky discrimination lawsuits. I have it on good authority that managers were trained to essentially discriminate against other races as they recruited. They also make the heavier or less attractive staff work in the back stocking. I am just skimming the surface of things that Abercrombie & Fitch has done to tarnish their own brand. Furthermore, the company has been bleeding money for the past several years and has had to do layoffs all over the place, but they can afford to pay The Situation to stop wearing their clothes? Your stores smell like a guido, 90% your staff looks like guidos, and I’m sure guidos are the only ones down with putting their 6 year olds in thongs. Maybe you guys should just get over yourselves, recognize the fact that you have become the joke of the fashion world and accept that guidos are the only ones left shopping at your stores. Embrace the free marketing that The Situation is giving you! Idiots…