Best. Weeks. Ever.

Great things are happening y'all! I won't go into giddy details, but the last two weeks have been absolutely tops! (I'm trying to incorporate british words into my vocab again...but I won't add u's to words. I hate favourite colours!) so many people have made my weeks grand but I'm just going to stick with the highlights: 

First of all, Taking Back Sunday put on one of the best shows I've ever seen! For the record, I did not let their music talk me into anything. I couldn't hear until 1pm the next day, I haven't sweat that much in years and the little girls in front of us didn't know what a keytar was...but that show was incredible and the company was too! (you can't tell but Adam was crazy close to us here)


Next, on Friday one of my oldest friends got married! It was a lovely dinner with lovely dancing and lovely friends. Congrats to Sars and Arni-Elei! I love you guys! 


Now the most exciting news of all! Notice how Amanda is on the verge of popping in the above picture? Well she did! Baby boi was born about a month early but he was healthy and adorbs!! I loved snuggling him at the hospital and I can't wait to snuggle him for years to come! I love you Amanda, B and Baby B! I am soooo lucky to know you guys!

Summer School

Alright class, its time for a pop quiz! It’s a multiple choice and the answers will be given at the end of this blog entry. You have 4 minutes to complete this quiz and no notes or calculators may be used. Your time begins NOW!
 
 
1.  Do you know who is awesome?

A. Oprah
B. Serena Williams
C. Nickelback
D. Taking Back Sunday
 
2. In college I once made the decision to kiss a frat boy based on the lyrics to which song:

A. “A decade under the influence” – TBS (Anyone will do tonight. Close your eyes just settle)
B. “We belong together” – Mariah Carey (Come back, baby because we belong together)
C. “Bubbly” – Colbie Caillet (You make me smile. Please stay for a while now)
D. “Figured you out” – Nickelback (Now I know who you are. It wasn’t that hard. To figure you out)
 
3. What concert am I going to tonight?

A. Nickelback
B. Taking Back Sunday
C. Yo Gabba Gabba
D. Manhiem Steamroller
 
4. Will I make the same decision I made 7 years ago, tonight (refer to question 2)?

A. Absolutely! You never learn from your mistakes.
B. No Way! You have way too much self respect now.
C. There’s a pretty good chance. It wasn’t really that poor of a decision.
D. Only time will tell…but you certainly can’t rule anything out.
 
Times up! Put your pens down. I will now give you the correct answers:
 
1. D. Taking Back Sunday. If you answered Nickelback, I get to kick you swiftly in the face.
2. A. A Decade Under the Influence. Those lyrics literally went through my head. Bummer for him if he reads this blog and finds out that I did that. Sorry, man. I was in a really weird place in life. Also, if you answered Nickelback to that one, I get to kick you in the face until you bleed.
3. B. Taking Back Sunday. I am so stoked!! I mean, I once allowed them to talk me into kissing someone. Obvs I am a big fan! Again, if Nickelback was your answer, I am no longer your friend. Facebook deleted and everything!
4. D. Only time will tell….but I certainly can’t rule anything out. A lady never kisses and tells so I would never post about that on here…unless you are the aforementioned frat boy (sorry again!) so if you want to know, you will just have to text me tomorrow to find out!
 
 
 

It's a sales job

I was out late on Saturday…late for me meaning past 11:00pm. I wasn’t even out for one of the 2 good reasons to stay up past midnight, but that is beside the point. I guess my late night must have made things a little wonky because at some point around 1:30ish, I actually thought it relevant to google, “annual income for a stripper”. Dead serious guys. I don’t remember why I was looking that up and I swear I wasn’t on anything, but I just needed to know in that moment how much money strippers make.  I learned that it can be upwards of $300K if you’re good at your stripping ways and stay off the drugs. But this little paragraph is what really caught my eye:

 
 
It’s a sales job guys, not a dancing job, so go to school so you can make sure you know how to best use your daddy issues to get the most tips. Dolla, dolla bill ya’ll!
 
P.S. It was apparently at 1:22 am. Thanks, iPhone for documenting my momentary lapse in judgment.
 
P.P.S. I was home alone in bed, watching TV when I felt the need to look this up so I really just have no solid explanation for why I felt this information was pertinent.
 
P.P.P.S. If you are curious as to what the 2 good reasons to stay up past midnight are, just shoot me a text and I will elaborate.   

Its called civil rights. This is the 90's.

Remember that time that I gave up on my grateful-off? Yeah, I do too. I kind of knew I would, but it was a good try. Life just gets real busy ya’ll!
 
So what have I been so busy doing for the past week? Oh, just seeing the movie Bridesmaids THREE times. I am super proud of it too! For some reason I think that seeing the same funny movie 3 times in a 6 day period makes me far superior to those who have only seen it once or twice. Really it probably makes me pathetic, but I am sticking with my plan to feel superior. If you haven’t seen it yet, stop reading this NOW and get yourself to the next showing. Seriously, go NOW!

 

 
I trust if you are still reading this that you have already seen the movie, because if you didn’t do as I said above I am not really sure why you even bother reading my blog. Clearly you don’t really care about me as a person if you disregard such sage advice. Seriously though – SO FUNNY!!! I laughed harder than I did in The Hangover! I had tears running down my face at some points. Oh, and I am pretty sure I am Annie. I think that’s something I should feel sad about, but she is funny so I will take that as a compliment from myself.
 
Thank you, Kirsten. That is really nice of you to compare me to the character of Annie. I like her!
 
You’re so welcome, Kirsten! You are SOOOOOO funny! No wonder all of these people read your blog.
 
Oh, Kirsten! You’re too kind.
 
It appears my funk has ended since I am now complimenting myself constantly. Funk ended, but sanity now questionable. Who cares! The greatful-off was a success! That is really why I gave up on it. Yeah, it was the success that made me stop doing it. It had nothing to do with laziness or me being a goal-quitter, obviously.  

These Guys

My dear friend Sharon who taught me so much about listening and following your heart
Early morning workouts
Flip-flops
(500) Days of Summer
These guys:

Happy Endings

Have you guys been watching the new show Happy Endings? No? Oh, that’s right…I am one of like 4 people who love that show. But I do love it and I want you all to go check it out and love it too so that it doesn’t get taken away from me! It’s all I have! Please!?!
 
Moving on… Basically, Happy Endings is a newer version of Friends. It’s great because I am now old enough to relate to and appreciate the situations the characters get in to, unlike when I was 14 and watching Friends (no disrespect intended). So I was watching Happy Endings the other day when my 16 year old brother walked in and it turns out that he is also 1 of the 4 people that loves it. We began a discussion of its hilarity and our favorite characters and I told him that I was concerned that I am Penny, the funny yet neurotic one. I was hoping he would disagree, but he quickly changed the subject. They learn young how to get out of a lady-trap. This all brings me to today. Happy Endings is on tonight (YAY!) so I was thinking about that conversation and his lack of answer. Behold the conversation I had with my brother via text:
 
Me: I’m Penny, aren’t I?
Austin: Yes
 
Just like that! No cushion to the blow, no “but she’s the funniest” or anything; just a resounding confirmation that I am indeed the neurotic one. Allow me to give you Wikipedia’s character description of Penny Hartz:
“The group’s desperate and single friend who constantly worries that she’ll never find the right guy”
 
Umm, yeah. My brother said that about me. I’m not desperate, right? What’s that? My begging you to watch this show so that it’s not taken away from me because it’s all I have, came off as desperate? Well this is awkward then.
 
 
Let’s just move on to my gratitude list for today and ignore my desperation and obsession over finding the right man:
 
The show Happy Endings (obvs)
My new salad holder
Goosey (aka my brother Austin)
The awful waitress I had last night who provided me with weeks of jokes
Pretzels
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

I heart Andrew McMahon

Andrew McMahon and his musical genius 
Short work days
Ranch dressing
Friends that text you all day while you're bored at a symposium
The tools I have to help get me through discouraging times