Oh boy! Not again Michael Phelps!

First of all, I am not obsessed with Michael Phelps. Really. I mean, don't get me wrong, I would totally marry him. Homeboy has money, you could do laundry on his abs, and he is kind of cute in a slack-jaw sort of way. His Mom also seems like a pretty nice lady....but this is all beside the point. The point is that he has seriously offended our nation yet again!

Remember this? Now, I was willing to look past his poor judgment and immature actions involved in the whole bong fiasco, but what I am about to reveal is so wrong- nay, so grotesque that I may never see our little dolphin hybrid the same:



What were you thinking Michael?!! What is that thing on your lip, and why did you think it was a good idea?! I just really don't think you thought this through Phelpsie. To quote you, this behavior is "regrettable and demonstrated bad judgement". The youth of our nation look up to you. How does it make you feel knowing that countless youngsters could be following your lead and growing a pedophile 'stache? That caterpillar on your face is both disgusting and offensive. If you didn't loose all of your endorsements after "puff, puff, pass", you certainly should now! You completely disregarded the feelings of our nation for your own selfish, white trash desires.

Maybe the extremely high caloric intake has gone to your head, but I have really lost a lot of respect for you Michael Phelps. Shame!