The Worst "Movie" Ever Made

I would like to ask you all to participate  in this little activity with me. First, close your eyes (metaphorically because you couldn't read this if you actually closed your eyes). Now think back into your mind's eye to recall the worst movie you've ever seen. I am guessing it's some awfully un-funny comedy or perhaps a poorly made chick flick. Maybe if you saw "the hills have eyes" you're thinking of that movie, because that's where my mind would have gone before last night...Now I want you to take that movie and imagine watching it 6 times in a row while you are tied to a chair and can't go to the restroom. I can promise I would still have rather done that than to see the movie I saw last night. 
I legitimately saw the worst movie ever made last night. To call it a movie is generous. It's called "The Oregonian" and I can't even begin to tell you what it was about, if it had a point or storyline, or why I stayed to the end. Basically it was a series of incredibly disturbing images with very little talking and random flashes of even more disturbing images. I refused to clap at the end. The film maker and star were sitting behind us and I made no secret to my thoughts on the film. We also walked out of the Q&A. That wad based on some dreams you've had and influence by country music, Calvin Reeder? Well if that's true, I don't know what stations you're listening to and I feel you should seek intense psychiatric help. It's about stories, Calvin Reeder? Well please explain what the story was in that! Was it a story about a giant green monster performing lewd acts randomly? Or people who drink gasoline daqueries? Please enlighten me! 

  Bottom line: I don't know what happened to me in that "movie". I say it happened to me because it did happen to me. It was some sadistic form of abuse that I endured and will likely ignite some PTSD in me. I doubt this "movie" will ever see the light of day past Sundance so it probably won't be able to get you. Thank your lucky stars!

You got me real good this year, Sundance! Funny joke you trickster!