Thursday Things

See, I missed a week already. I suck. Get over it. 

This Collage I made

 

There is no greater children’s book than “Where the Wild Things Are”. Period. I saw the movie opening night and loved in despite what all the haterz say. I’ve wanted some sort of wall art to represent my love of this book but I could never quite find what I wanted. It obviously needed to involved “let the wild rumpus start” because no better words have ever been written, but everything on etsy was too spendy for what it was. Then I got this bright idea to tear apart my copy of the book and make a collage of sort. I am pleased with the outcome and it currently hangs above my bed.

Sensationail

 

I have man hands. Okay, maybe not man hands, but definitely not dainty lady hands. I make up for my chubby phalanges by painting my finger nails always. The trouble is that I can’t stand chipping. The first time I got gel nails I was so pleased that my chipping problem was solved, but then I had the problem of paying upwards of $30 every 2 weeks to have them redone. The solution: Sensationail. I did my research and found this baby. It was a bit of an investment upfront ($50 for the starter kit and $10-$20 for additional supplies), but I loves it. I do my nails once every 1.5-2 weeks and then don’t worry about it in between. It isn’t quite as long lasting as professional salon gel nails, but it is also a fraction of the cost so I’ll stick with it.

Infiniti Scarves

 

Finally, it is cool enough outside that wearing a scarf doesn’t seem pretentious.  Yes, hipsters, wearing a scarf when it is 103 degrees outside is pretentious. So is instagramming everything you eat, so stop it! Infiniti scarves. They are hands down the best kind. You don’t have to fuss with them in the morning to try and figure out a way to tie it so you don’t look like an ass hole. You just put it around your head, around again and voila! Your t-shirt suddenly looks work appropriate.  I’ve spent a few bucks and built up my collection for this fall. Cheers to brisk mornings!

Dark Angels

 

Lush is making it to the list again! After the love affair I started having with my lush face mask, I decided to bump up my face washing routine as well. My dear friend Amber has been using this and had positive things to say, so I picked it above the other weird looking things to get the caked on makeup off of my face. I like it. A lot. A very small amount goes a very long way and I am officially down to 1 zit on this face of mine! (knock on wood)

That’s all for this week. I’m having an off week and I don’t much feel like telling you guys anything else I like. Sorry about that. You can blame men. They are almost always the root of the problem.

Thursday Things

Thursdays Things

I am taking a note from my favorite MTV alum, LC and posting a weekly list of my favorite things. So as to not totally copy my imaginary bestie, mine will be called “Thursday Things”. Same concept—I will share a few items I am currently obsessed with and tell you why. I am going to try to keep up this weekly post, but let’s be honest about how inconsistent I am at life in general, so I am going into this with a realistic promise by saying that it will more than likely not be weekly, although I will try:

Kombucha

 

This stuff is amazing…ly weird. I love it, I really do, but I know it is not a taste most people enjoy. I don’t really know why I do. It is vinegary and tangy and fermenty all wrapped into one $4 bottle that has little floaties at the bottom. Also, it takes me like 20 minutes to open it because it is so fermented that it will spray floaties all up in your face if you open it too abruptly. Sounds terrible, right? Well, I think most people would agree that it is but I loves it.

Individually Wrapped almond butters

 

I haven’t posted about this yet, but if you have caught me in the kitchen at work then I have likely told you all about how I eat Paleo now. I loves it too, but it limits my treat intake quite a lot. No more Fastbreaks for this lady. My new favorite treat is to take a banana and break it up and eat it with some of these little packets. I usually only eat half a packet and just rub my banana all in the almond butter, getting it good and gooey. Surprisingly, this combo tends to cure those Reese’s cravings.

Lush’s Cupcake Face Mask

 

This stuff is the shiiiiiiiiiiiiii…I have acne. Forget that I had porcelain skin all through my teens and early 20’s. I hit age 24 and started breaking out like I was a friggin’ 16 year old who worked at KFC and didn’t wash her face after. Cool of my hormones to save the acne for the years when I was actually trying to attract a man for more than just a prom date. Stupid idiot skin. Well this Lush facemask was designed for acne-riddled teens, so it’s perfect for me! In 1 week of using it (probably more than you need to, but I slept in makeup the other night. You don’t need to know why.) my skin already looks better. Three cheers for anything that will trick a man into thinking I’m hot!

To Kill a Mockingbird

 If you’re like me then you read this by force in some High School English class and didn’t like it because you hated everything you were forced to read. Well, I highly suggest you revisit this novel as an adult. It is so good! I feel like it is relatable for anyone who had a childhood, regardless of the decade. It makes me reminiscent of Summer nights with my brother, playing Pocahontas or Star Wars in our backyard until 10pm or daring each other to walk on the sidewalk in front of Dolly’s house. That beezy was scary! But read it. Really do.

These Shoes

I bought them. I love them. They are my new babies. A good friend of mine is getting married in a little over a month and I’ve had this whole outfit planned in my mind’s eye. It involves blue shoes so when I saw these during a Nordy’s trip last weekend, I knew they had to come home with me to join my other babies. Do I have an unhealthy relationship with my shoes? Yes. Is my relationship with my sunnies even more unhealthy? Yes. Judge away! But my sunnies and shoes will never end up in therapy because of the emotional damage I inflict upon them.

Happy Thursday, lovers!

#hashtag

Let’s talk about hashtags. AKA the most improperly used form of communication in social media. Heaven knows I do not have perfect etiquette (in social media, life, table manners, anything…), but the frequency at which I have seen hashtags being misused has begun to make my temples throb. If you’re unclear on what a hashtag is then you probably aren’t misusing them and I thank you for that, but I will still explain for those who are: A hashtag is the pound or number sign that people use before a statement in social media (example: #goutes #obama2012 #BearLake). Fun fact, hashtags have an actual purpose!! The purpose of a hashtag is to connect various tweets (and now instagrams) with other tweets (and now instagrams) of the same topic. Its not this fun way for you to make a random, lengthy remark on the post of your fetus or your lunch on instagram. If you wanted to make that extra remark, a simple period before starting a new sentence would be more appropriate. Hashtags started as a twitter thing, although they also work on instagram. I would venture to assume that they will also eventually work for Facebook as well, but for now they do not so just stop using them there, mkay?

I will now provide the class with some samples to show the appropriate use of hashtags:

Example 1:

I post a humerous tweet about my new lifestyle choice (which I will obviously talk your ear off about if you’re interested…or if you encounter me in the office kitchen and ask why I am eating “rice” made from cauliflower):

 

See that #paleo hashtag and how it is blue? I can now click on that hashtag to see other things people are posting about the paleo diet. Neat, huh?

Example 2:

I post a humerous tweet about how irritated I am over the misuse of hashtags, giving it a ridiculously long and unimportant hashtag:

See how the hashtag is still blue? I can now click on it and…wait, what?! You mean no one else posted a hashtag about the stupid and unimportant thing I hashtagged?? How could that be?!

Alright everyone, lets take today’s lesson and go back to our social media applications and stop looking stupid by posting things like #IalmostcriedwhenIsawmybabyonthesonogram or #IlovethissandwichsomuchIwouldmarryitandhavebabieswithitandposttheirsonogramsoninstagram

The Worst Mistake in Literary History!

I have a confession to make, and it may come as a surprise to most of you since I tend to use a cynical and dare I say, bitter voice in most of my posts. But here goes nothing: 

I am a hopeless romantic in the most shameful sense of the phrase.

It is true. When other little girls were avoiding boys and thinking they had cooties, I was imagining romantic moments on bridges with them. I wasn’t a big reader as a kid, I never got into Goosebumps or the Babysitter Club, but I loved the classics. Anything by Mark Twain, the Anne of Green Gables series, The Three Muskateers, etc. But my favorite book of all was “Little Women”. I related to Jo March in so many ways; I loved writing and acting, I was always awkward and saying inappropriate things, and I often found that my strong will and stubbornness caused me trouble. The only thing I was missing was a set of sisters to be my companions. I can’t count the number of times I have read “Little Women” and each time I read it, I fall more in love. However, I have always taken serious issue with Jo March’s decision to refuse Laurie’s hand in marriage. I just don’t know what Louisa May Alcott was thinking when she chose to tear them apart! People often battle me on this because they believe Jo found a good match in Friedrich, but I strongly disagree! Friedrich is fine and all, but the love Jo shared with him was just a convenient one. The love that Laurie had for Jo was passionate and deep. He loved her so, so much and he always did! He spent his youth loving her and would have followed her to the ends of the earth had she not turned him down. There is an entire chapter of the book dedicated to this conversation, with the fitting name, ‘Heartache’... 

“I’ve loved you ever since I’ve known you, Jo, couldn’t help it, you’ve been so good to me. I’ve tried to show it, but you wouldn’t let me. Now I’m going to make you hear, and give me an answer, for I can’t go on so any longer...I can’t love anyone else, and I’ll never forget you, Jo, never! Never!”

And now the film adaptation of that moment (a regular in my DVD player): 

HOW ON EARTH DO YOU DENY THAT?!!!! I’m not just talking about Christian Bale, although his portrayal of Laurie certainly did not hurt my love of the character. But I can’t handle Laurie’s enduring love for Jo. Will any girl out there dare challenge me when I say that this is what we all want?! Ever since I was a little girl, I have dreamed of a long time friend professing his undying love for me on a bridge. (In case you didn’t catch on, I have a weird obsession with bridges). No one from my childhood neighborhood because they are all gross, but someone I have known for a long time who has just admired me and loved me and has waited for the right time to tell me. Sigh. I am making my heart turn into mush over here, so I am just ending now before I get even more weird with my hopeless romantic musings. Just know that I am holding out for my own Laurie, and when we have our moment on the bridge I will not be so unreasonable as to deny his love. 

Missed Connections

Real talk: there is nothing creepier than someone who places a missed connection ad! Not only was someone following you through the isles of Whole Foods while you bough almond milk and quinoa, but they then went home, did who knows what to themselves, and then felt like they needed to publicly add meaning to something that was totally in their head.

 Having said that, it is a lifelong dream of mine to be flipping through a City Weekly at brunch, and come across a missed connection that is about me! I assume that the feeling would be an unsettling mix of excitement and fear. Then I would probably frame it and tell all of my posterity about the time someone stalked me in Whole Foods. As I contemplated this concept, I assessed the places where people would see me and fall in love with me. I assume it would go something like this…

 It was a Friday night around 8pm. You intoxicated me with your beauty as you entered the Indian restaurant in an old pair of Skyline High School sweatpants and a well-loved Backstreet Boys Millennium tour t-shirt. I was really into the natural look you had going on; the wet hair, no makeup, and I sensed the absence of a brassiere. You used a 2 for 1 coupon and got 3 meals. Were you taking those extra meals home to share with a lover, or could I be your get one free?

Ode to Diet Coke

Diet coke, I love you so.
You’re there for me when times are low.
No matter how bad my day may seem,
one sip of you and my hope then gleams.
Thank you for never leaving my side.
I always want you along for the ride.
Diet Coke, let’s never part,
For you are the truest piece of my heart.

41 Days

Guess what happens in 41 days???? Do you give up? MY BIRTHDAY!!!!! I am really excited, mostly because my birthday falls on a Saturday this year. That means I don’t have to pretend to work when I am really sitting at my desk feeling depressed and defeated by the lack of progression in my life since my last birthday. I have decided to take a more conservative approach to my wish list this year. In the past my requests have been considered outlandish by some (idiots!) and I end up getting ugly clothes or DVD’s I already own. To prevent such atrocities from occurring this year, I have included something for every price point. I am hoping my humble list invites more people to give me stuff that doesn’t suck so bad this year.

//Rebecca Minkoff iPhone Case (in pink, please!)

I die.

//This Jess LC necklace

I die again. Gold is preferred.

//TOMS Ballet Flats (Grey, size 9)

I die a third time! My favorite shoes now come with less of a hipster vibe. Nordy’s has started pre-sale on these, so I expect there to be a high demand around my b-day (hint, hint)

//The OC on DVD (any season but season 1)

Best. Show. Ever.

//The movie 50/50

This was such a great film! I laughed, I cried (for the last 30 minutes of the movie), and I loved.

//Essie Nail Polish

I am obsessed with this brand of nail polish. The colors are the best and the quality is amaaaahzing.

//A bottle of Pink Sugar Sensual

I need more cover up for days like this.

//A dehydrator

I am on this clean eating kick lately and I have been making a boatload of granola, granola bars, oatmeal desserts, etc. I am trying to make up for the gallons of Diet Coke I drink weekly and a dehydrator would allow me to make my own dried fruit to put in my homemade granola.

//Food Processor

I have resisted buying one of these for so long. I have cheaped my way around it, but my tiny 2 cup chopper is not really cutting it when need I puree almonds and oats as often as I do. It is time for a big one.


These are all the tangible items I wish for this day of my birth. The intangible wishes will have to wait for the candles, I guess.