I once asked my hot high school biology teacher (skyline alums know exactly who I’m speaking of) when aging stopped being a good thing. Without batting a hot eyelash he said 26. His rationale made sense; 25 is the last time there is a perk to aging. You get the ability to rent a car and insurance rates go down, so that pretty much puts and end to things of that nature. He also told me that after 25 my body would start to ache for no good reason (check!), I would be tired all the time (double check!) and there would be nothing left to look forward to. Deyle was always a downer so I hope the last part isn’t true, but thus far he’s 2-1!
Well kiddos, tomorrow marks the start of my downhill slope. It’s no longer fun for me to age. Maybe someone will gift me some Tory Burch flats to ease the pain. They’re probably better for my knees than those heels anyhow.
5 hours ago
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
You can run, you can hide, but you can't escape the office windows!
If I could travel back to the 9th grade and talk to 15 year old Kirsten, I would tell her one thing:
“When you’re 25 years old, you will have a job that will allow you to listen to boy bands for 8 hours a day.”
Holy cow! Can you imagine how excited that would have made me? It would have made all of those awkward/traumatic teen years so much more bearable!
“What’s that Erin [last name omitted]? You think I’m a loser because I have never kissed a boy? Well I don’t care what you think because when I grow up I will get to listen to NSYNC and Backstreet Boys all day long while you will be working at Walmart, married to some sick white trash guy who wears affliction all the time because you peaked in high school!”
(sidenote: Teenage Kirsten knew about affliction because I would also warn her about that fashion nightmare)
(sidenote #2: I don’t know where Erin [last name omitted] really is these days, but I assume I am fairly accurate on that…at least I truly hope that I am…)
And that is what I do ladies and gents. I have created a Backstreet Boys station and Pandora and I listen to the best of the mid to late 90’s all day at work. Everything from 98 degrees to Mariah Carey dazzles my ear drums while I process payroll. It. Is. Glorious! The downside is that I might have just experienced the downside of tapping into my teen years. Today at work I was standing at my desk dancing to “Escape” by Enrique Iglesias. I suddenly realized that my office blinds were open and that the stylists at the salon next door could see directly into my office windows. They could see me and they did. I stopped my dancing, sat back down in my wheelie chair and got back to payroll. At least Erin [last name omitted] doesn’t work at the salon next door.
“When you’re 25 years old, you will have a job that will allow you to listen to boy bands for 8 hours a day.”
Holy cow! Can you imagine how excited that would have made me? It would have made all of those awkward/traumatic teen years so much more bearable!
“What’s that Erin [last name omitted]? You think I’m a loser because I have never kissed a boy? Well I don’t care what you think because when I grow up I will get to listen to NSYNC and Backstreet Boys all day long while you will be working at Walmart, married to some sick white trash guy who wears affliction all the time because you peaked in high school!”
(sidenote: Teenage Kirsten knew about affliction because I would also warn her about that fashion nightmare)
(sidenote #2: I don’t know where Erin [last name omitted] really is these days, but I assume I am fairly accurate on that…at least I truly hope that I am…)
And that is what I do ladies and gents. I have created a Backstreet Boys station and Pandora and I listen to the best of the mid to late 90’s all day at work. Everything from 98 degrees to Mariah Carey dazzles my ear drums while I process payroll. It. Is. Glorious! The downside is that I might have just experienced the downside of tapping into my teen years. Today at work I was standing at my desk dancing to “Escape” by Enrique Iglesias. I suddenly realized that my office blinds were open and that the stylists at the salon next door could see directly into my office windows. They could see me and they did. I stopped my dancing, sat back down in my wheelie chair and got back to payroll. At least Erin [last name omitted] doesn’t work at the salon next door.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Benny & The Nighty-Q
Last night I mixed bennys & nighty-Q and lived to tell the tale! For those of you who are not hip to my OTC drug names:
Bennys= Benadryl
Nighty-Q= nyquil
I need you all to just calm down! Before you judge just listen to my reasoning! I have this date tonight and I have had this awful cough for the last 10ish days. I cant be hacking up a lung on a date, so obviously I needed nighty-q. Then last night I was at dinner with Mary and Amanda. We got this delicious dessert called chocolate decadence. 2 bites into it I remembered that I'm allergic to chocolate. Not to say I forget my allergies, but I'm usually fine unless its super rich or dark. Chocolate decadence sounds rich and I wasn't about to take any chances! I spun into panic mode and started freaking out that I might get hives. I took the bennys as preventative measure. I mean obviously it was totally necessary.
Before you start calling me mean druggy names, I want to assure you that I consulted google before mixing them and google said it "could be done but was not advisable" See, that means it's totally fine!
The best part of my OTC cocktail was the text I got from Amanda this morning: "Please bless that you are still alive after your many mixes and also that you are hive free!"
Awwww! She's such a sweet friend to be concerned! Indeed I am hive free and still breathing. Not advisable? What does that really even mean? I mean, I have done plenty of things against the advice of others and I'm fine!
Wish me luck on the date!
Bennys= Benadryl
Nighty-Q= nyquil
I need you all to just calm down! Before you judge just listen to my reasoning! I have this date tonight and I have had this awful cough for the last 10ish days. I cant be hacking up a lung on a date, so obviously I needed nighty-q. Then last night I was at dinner with Mary and Amanda. We got this delicious dessert called chocolate decadence. 2 bites into it I remembered that I'm allergic to chocolate. Not to say I forget my allergies, but I'm usually fine unless its super rich or dark. Chocolate decadence sounds rich and I wasn't about to take any chances! I spun into panic mode and started freaking out that I might get hives. I took the bennys as preventative measure. I mean obviously it was totally necessary.
Before you start calling me mean druggy names, I want to assure you that I consulted google before mixing them and google said it "could be done but was not advisable" See, that means it's totally fine!
The best part of my OTC cocktail was the text I got from Amanda this morning: "Please bless that you are still alive after your many mixes and also that you are hive free!"
Awwww! She's such a sweet friend to be concerned! Indeed I am hive free and still breathing. Not advisable? What does that really even mean? I mean, I have done plenty of things against the advice of others and I'm fine!
Wish me luck on the date!
Saturday, January 29, 2011
The Worst "Movie" Ever Made
I would like to ask you all to participate in this little activity with me. First, close your eyes (metaphorically because you couldn't read this if you actually closed your eyes). Now think back into your mind's eye to recall the worst movie you've ever seen. I am guessing it's some awfully un-funny comedy or perhaps a poorly made chick flick. Maybe if you saw "the hills have eyes" you're thinking of that movie, because that's where my mind would have gone before last night...Now I want you to take that movie and imagine watching it 6 times in a row while you are tied to a chair and can't go to the restroom. I can promise I would still have rather done that than to see the movie I saw last night.
I legitimately saw the worst movie ever made last night. To call it a movie is generous. It's called "The Oregonian" and I can't even begin to tell you what it was about, if it had a point or storyline, or why I stayed to the end. Basically it was a series of incredibly disturbing images with very little talking and random flashes of even more disturbing images. I refused to clap at the end. The film maker and star were sitting behind us and I made no secret to my thoughts on the film. We also walked out of the Q&A. That wad based on some dreams you've had and influence by country music, Calvin Reeder? Well if that's true, I don't know what stations you're listening to and I feel you should seek intense psychiatric help. It's about stories, Calvin Reeder? Well please explain what the story was in that! Was it a story about a giant green monster performing lewd acts randomly? Or people who drink gasoline daqueries? Please enlighten me!
Bottom line: I don't know what happened to me in that "movie". I say it happened to me because it did happen to me. It was some sadistic form of abuse that I endured and will likely ignite some PTSD in me. I doubt this "movie" will ever see the light of day past Sundance so it probably won't be able to get you. Thank your lucky stars!
You got me real good this year, Sundance! Funny joke you trickster!
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Snowshoes and Paranoia
This Saturday I decided to go up Millcreek to do some snowshoeing. Good plan. I also decided that I have been under a lot of stress, so I would go alone to have some thinking time. Good plan too, unless you've seen "127 Hours" lately...
For those of you who haven't heard of this movie, it is the true story of Aaron Ralston, the Colorado man who got trapped in Southern Utah and cut off his own arm. To sum it up, he decided to go hiking alone without telling anyone where he was going. He knocked a rock loose on his hike, which trapped his hand between the rock and the wall of the crack he was in. He didn't have a real knife, just some crappy multi-tool. He did all sorts of crazy crap to stay alive. He ran out of water and eventually peed in his camelbak and DRANK HIS OWN URINE. He also used the neoprene sleeve from his camelbak to create a tourniquet, tightened the tourniquet with a carabiner. After he realize his multi-tool knife wasn't going to cut bone, he BROKE HIS OWN ARM and eventually went all crazy on that shiz and CUT HIS ARM OFF!!!!!! Yes, I know I used caps excessively there, but seriously people- that is so gross! Moral of the story: had he been with someone else, or even if he had told people where he was going and when he would be back, he probably wouldn't have had to go all psycho path on his arm. I am telling you right now that if I was ever faced with impending doom of that sort, I would not survive. My will to live isn't that strong. I would try to get out for 20-30 minutes, all the while crying and praying for help. After the 30 minute struggle, I would eat all of my food and drink all of my water. Then I would cry myself to sleep and probably never wake up again. Screw drinking your own pee!
Back to snowshoeing...I went alone, but I told people, just to be safe! Turns out that Millcreek was not an original idea on Saturday so I was never in any real danger. Although there was a fair amount of time alone, I ran into people every 20 minutes or so. I would be fine if a rock trapped me. End of story. Now enjoy some pics...
Pretty Creek
Safe and back at the car with all of my extremities!
For those of you who haven't heard of this movie, it is the true story of Aaron Ralston, the Colorado man who got trapped in Southern Utah and cut off his own arm. To sum it up, he decided to go hiking alone without telling anyone where he was going. He knocked a rock loose on his hike, which trapped his hand between the rock and the wall of the crack he was in. He didn't have a real knife, just some crappy multi-tool. He did all sorts of crazy crap to stay alive. He ran out of water and eventually peed in his camelbak and DRANK HIS OWN URINE. He also used the neoprene sleeve from his camelbak to create a tourniquet, tightened the tourniquet with a carabiner. After he realize his multi-tool knife wasn't going to cut bone, he BROKE HIS OWN ARM and eventually went all crazy on that shiz and CUT HIS ARM OFF!!!!!! Yes, I know I used caps excessively there, but seriously people- that is so gross! Moral of the story: had he been with someone else, or even if he had told people where he was going and when he would be back, he probably wouldn't have had to go all psycho path on his arm. I am telling you right now that if I was ever faced with impending doom of that sort, I would not survive. My will to live isn't that strong. I would try to get out for 20-30 minutes, all the while crying and praying for help. After the 30 minute struggle, I would eat all of my food and drink all of my water. Then I would cry myself to sleep and probably never wake up again. Screw drinking your own pee!
Back to snowshoeing...I went alone, but I told people, just to be safe! Turns out that Millcreek was not an original idea on Saturday so I was never in any real danger. Although there was a fair amount of time alone, I ran into people every 20 minutes or so. I would be fine if a rock trapped me. End of story. Now enjoy some pics...
Pretty Creek
Safe and back at the car with all of my extremities!
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
The Life and Times of Kirsten
It has certainly been a while since I posted anything of relevance so I thought it might be time for a brief update of what I have been up to since April...
May: I made a big decision in my life and went through the temple. It had been on my mind for a while but then some things happened that made me understand that it was the exact right time in my life. Once I made my mind up it all happened fairly quickly. We're talking about 2 weeks between when I decided it was time and when I did it. I am not one to get super churchy on this type of thing, but it was incredible and I know it was the right thing for me. I'll leave it there, but big props to Carly for being my amazing escort, Duff for the blessing before, and my amazing friends who came to support! I love you all so much!
June: I got the heezy out of the PAC! After 5 long years I found a job with a great company. I love what I am doing now and the company I work for is awesome! I enjoy going to work and I get a kick out of the people I work with and the environment I am in.
July: Lots of sun bathing and pool time. I also started getting eye lash extensions. If you haven't ever had them, I highly recommend them!
August: Lots of camping. Tent trailers are the most amazing invention known to man. I also became enthralled with this author who essentially writes romance novels. Yeah, I admitted it. Get over it!
September: Football started! GO UTES!!!!!
October: More Football. Halloween. Blah, Blah, Blah...
Which brings us to today. Life is grand! Careful people, it's about to get all mushy up in here.............................................Over the past few months I have really come to appreciate the friends that I have been blessed to have in my life. I have been trying to take time to let them know how important they are to me and to spend more time with the people I love. It was pointed out to me the other day that I often start stories with, "my best friend...", but I will be talking about a number of different people. The thing is, I can't pick just one "best friend". I have so many friends that have been there for me at different times in my life that I can't pick just one! Each of them has been exactly what I needed at a specific time and now I am lucky enough to have a whole slew of best friends! I love you all!!!!!
And with that, I leave you with a picture of this year's Halloween Costume. Patrick and I were Max Hall's family. I didn't partake of the beer on our shirts. Calm down...
May: I made a big decision in my life and went through the temple. It had been on my mind for a while but then some things happened that made me understand that it was the exact right time in my life. Once I made my mind up it all happened fairly quickly. We're talking about 2 weeks between when I decided it was time and when I did it. I am not one to get super churchy on this type of thing, but it was incredible and I know it was the right thing for me. I'll leave it there, but big props to Carly for being my amazing escort, Duff for the blessing before, and my amazing friends who came to support! I love you all so much!
June: I got the heezy out of the PAC! After 5 long years I found a job with a great company. I love what I am doing now and the company I work for is awesome! I enjoy going to work and I get a kick out of the people I work with and the environment I am in.
July: Lots of sun bathing and pool time. I also started getting eye lash extensions. If you haven't ever had them, I highly recommend them!
August: Lots of camping. Tent trailers are the most amazing invention known to man. I also became enthralled with this author who essentially writes romance novels. Yeah, I admitted it. Get over it!
September: Football started! GO UTES!!!!!
October: More Football. Halloween. Blah, Blah, Blah...
Which brings us to today. Life is grand! Careful people, it's about to get all mushy up in here.............................................Over the past few months I have really come to appreciate the friends that I have been blessed to have in my life. I have been trying to take time to let them know how important they are to me and to spend more time with the people I love. It was pointed out to me the other day that I often start stories with, "my best friend...", but I will be talking about a number of different people. The thing is, I can't pick just one "best friend". I have so many friends that have been there for me at different times in my life that I can't pick just one! Each of them has been exactly what I needed at a specific time and now I am lucky enough to have a whole slew of best friends! I love you all!!!!!
And with that, I leave you with a picture of this year's Halloween Costume. Patrick and I were Max Hall's family. I didn't partake of the beer on our shirts. Calm down...
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